Indie publishing: The real reason I did it

It’s only Monday morning and I’m already exhausted–not a good sign when the work-week is stretching before me like the first mile of a marathon. The worst part? There’s no particular reason for my fatigue. No big weekend behind me, causing me to run from one activity to another. No special events that spent my emotional stamina. I didn’t even attempt to tackle the dust bunnies running rampant through my house. No, I spent the weekend working on writing stuff, most notably working on promo events for the novella I released last week.

I had my work cut out for me too and started with a long to-do list. Send newsletter announcement: check. (Okay it was a week late, but it’s out.) Post headline ad on one of the romance sites: check. Update web site: check….I think. (Note to self: check web site.) Tweet about the launch, post on Facebook, check out that whole ISBN business, submit to review sites: two full checks, one half-check and one non-check….Oh well, there’s always next weekend. On the plus side, I did manage to spend a couple hours Sunday afternoon actually working on a story.

If you follow this blog, you know I rarely write about writing, or my books, or any of that stuff. I started this blog (and titled it “A Voice from Silence”) because I needed a dumping ground for all the extraneous angst floating around in my head. I figure if something bugs me, it probably bugs someone else too, and maybe those someone “elses” might want to read about whatever it is bothering me, and might even find comfort in knowing they’re not alone.

But writing doesn’t bother me. Writing is my outlet, my passion, my joy. At times it comes as naturally to me as breathing. Other times it’s a struggle, like pretty much any time I have to do anything on the business end. And when you’re following an independent path to publication, as I did with this novella, you are the business. So I find myself, a week after the launch of that novella, looking back on my decision, wondering if I knew what I was getting into.

I knew the promo would be up to me, but that’s the case too with my 2010 novel which was released by a romance publisher. True, aside from the actual production, the publisher distributed the book and sent it out to review sites, but that’s pretty much it from a promo standpoint. The marketing team is good about letting us know about opportunities, but whether or not I snap up one of those opportunities is my call, and it’s my time and/or money spent to participate.

But an indie author not only has to spend the time or money, he/she first has to mine the far-reaching fields of book promotion sites/companies/groups to identify the opportunities. Certain promo things are fun. I love anything that has me interacting with readers, whether they read my books or not. It’s a chance to meet new people, find out what they like and don’t like, and I always have a great time.

Then there are things like putting myself out there on the various social media sites, asking to guest blog, or asking (begging) for a review. These are much more difficult for me. I really dislike being the center of attention, and it feels more than a little narcissistic to be asking people to look at and talk about, maybe even read my work. I’m confused by the etiquette of the various social media sites too. If someone follows me on Twitter, should I reciprocate? Will I hurt that person’s feelings if I don’t? Realistically, I don’t know how anyone can possibly follow dozens (hundreds?) of tweets multiplied by hundreds (thousands?) of people. I know I can’t, and I can only hope that they have so many followers, the addition or omission of my little name won’t matter. Or do they sit there comparing their “following” lists against their “followers” lists and figure out who might have ignored the handshake they’ve offered.

My mind races in circles with this stuff!

If that wasn’t enough, then there are the real business considerations: Do I buy my own ISBN, which platforms do I want to be on, and the biggie, how much to charge for the fruits of months of labor that someone will read in a couple hours? Now I’m really out of my element. (I have about zero amount of business knowledge or acumen.) I spent hours agonizing over the price issue alone–reading blogs and polls and otherwise soliciting readers’ and writers’ opinions–and I’m still not certain I made the right decision.

So, like I said, here I am, a week later, wondering if I made the right call. And then I got to thinking about why I put it out there at all. It wasn’t to make a million dollars, or to be one of those super-lucky souls whose books shoot from anonymity to the zenith of the publishing world (you know, in the top 100 on amazon). (Okay, that is a nice day dream, but it’s hardly an expectation.) No, the reason I published it independently (instead of sticking with the contract I had) is because for months my little group of followers have been asking me when the next book was coming out. It killed me to admit it was going to be a full year. I mean, how lame is that to be able to get only one novella out in a two-year period? (And that’s not even counting the twenty or more years this story has been been sitting in my file cabinet, germinating and waiting for life.)

Before you start thinking what an obnoxious, arrogant soul I’ve become, let me say I’m completely and unabashedly humbled by the support I’ve received from so many. And believe me, I don’t carry any illusions that the presence or absence of my work will make anyone’s life any better, or worse. But you can be sure that I know how blessed I am to have people asking me when the next book is coming out.

So I suppose in retrospect, regardless of sales rank or royalties, I’m glad I chose an independent path to publication. I’m glad I chose to make public a story I’ve loved for a long time. And I can only hope that if any choose to purchase it, the story will entertain them, prompt them to think about something in a slightly different perspective, or maybe just help them escape into a different world for a couple hours. That’s my goal as a writer, and if I can accomplish that, I’ll be happy, and I’ll know that the months of work, and resulting fatigue of “birthing” the book, were well spent.

* * * *

(Okay, okay, I suppose I have to add this….)
Adrienne’s Ghost tells the story of the discovery of the body of agent recruit Adrienne Garza in the basement of FBIHQ, and of the relationship that develops between the investigating agent and paranormal psychologist who hunt for the killer…and encounter Adrienne’s ghost along the way. Complete details, including an excerpt, can be found on my web site.

Leaps of Faith ~ Here I Go Again!

Have you ever done something risky just because you felt in your heart of hearts it was the right thing to do? Maybe if you’re the praying type, you prayed first. If you’re the type who listens to your gut, maybe your gut told you it was the right thing to do. Maybe your loved ones supported you, or maybe they called your decision foolish, or even stupid. Still others might have called it a leap of faith.

When I think of the term “leap of faith,” the first thing that pops into my mind is that scene in the movie “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” where Indie is racing to save his father’s life. He comes to the rim of this yawing crevice in the earth, so wide and deep a body could fall and fall and fall… You get the picture. (It makes me shiver just thinking about it!) Indie stares at the chasm, then at his father, injured and suffering, on the other side. He puts his hand over his heart and closes his eyes, and after a moment he relaxes, as if he’s found peace, and truth. He takes a deep breath, extends his foot and takes a giant step forward. (Now that’s a leap of faith!)

We watch, transfixed (our hearts possibly pounding along with Indie’s), expecting him to fall and fall and fall. But he doesn’t. Something breaks his fall. Something solid and substantial enough to hold his weight. He grabs a handful of dirt, scatters it before him, and we see that there’s a pathway across the divide so cleverly camouflaged that it’s impossible to see with the naked eye. Still, pretty scary, but there’s a way forward, a way he wouldn’t have seen had he not taken that leap.

Although few of us have to face that type of choice, we all face decisions in our lives that force us to choose between the common sense approach, i.e., the safe and tried approach, and the approach that makes others shake their heads at us and mutter things under their breath. My husband and I have taken those leaps a few times in our marriage. The first was when we left our nice, safe (albeit boring) jobs with the federal government in Washington, D.C., to move to suburban New Jersey. Only one of us had a job in Jersey (I was permitted a transfer), the pay hardly enough to support us and our infant son. But we knew in our heart of hearts that we didn’t want to raise a family in the rush-rush world of D.C. We didn’t want a life where it took close to an hour, possibly more, to make a five-mile commute into the city. We didn’t want a lifestyle where our closest friends from work might live a couple hours away in Maryland, our closest relatives a bumper-riding trip up Interstate 95. So we uprooted ourselves, against my in-laws’ urging (read: “Don’t be stupid!”), and things worked out okay. My husband got a great job within a few weeks, and over the years we were able to spend much more time with our families.

Twenty-some years and a second son later, we made a similar choice. Our area had become so congested that daily living was becoming a chore. Our older son (ironically) had chosen to make his home in D.C., our younger son was heading off to college, and we were free as birds to go wherever we wanted. Except for that whole job thing. Once again I managed a transfer, and once again we packed up everything we owned and moved, back to Virginia, this time to the southeastern corner. People didn’t call us stupid this time, although many shook their heads at what they perceived as our foolishness. But it felt right, so we did it, and things have turned out okay. My husband got a really great job, I wrote my first book (and got it published!), and we launched a new chapter in our lives.

Recently our guts have been talking to us again. This time it wasn’t about location, but it was about forging our own path forward. I’d written a second book, a novella, and shopped it around. My first choice of publisher loved it but said it wasn’t enough of a romance to fit their brand. My second choice happily accepted it, but that’s when the gut juices started to flow. I won’t go into detail, but we quickly began to wonder if we’d made a mistake. After a couple months, we decided that yes, we had made a mistake. I got my rights to the book back and made a decision that some might call foolish, some might call stupid, and some might call a leap of faith. I decided to jump into the maelstrom of today’s publishing world: independent publishing.

I know what you’re probably thinking. Oh, that’s just the new word for the old self-publishing. You’re right. But that term doesn’t mean the same thing it meant even two years ago. It doesn’t mean the work isn’t good enough for publication by a known publishing company. What it means is that I’ve decided to take charge of my story, to pick my own cover, to choose my editor, to release the story on my timetable, not some over-committed publisher’s schedule, and to set a price that I’m comfortable with.

Will I regret this six months from now? Maybe. Maybe I’ll fall and fall and fall. If that happens, hopefully I’ll learn along the way. But maybe, just maybe, this leap of faith will reveal a pathway before me that I never would have seen with my naked eye. So here I gooooooo….!

Adrienne’s Ghost
A Novella
Coming Soon…Leah St. James

FBI Agent Jackson Yates had never believed in ghosts…until now.

Rachael Sullivan has spent her adult years searching for knowledge of life after death.

Joined by forces beyond their control, together they seek a killer, and together they encounter…Adrienne’s Ghost.

(Cover art by Katherine Basey.)